Lowering My Nets Like Simon Peter

Hey there sweet friend!
Welcome!

OK, so no, I'm not feeling called by God to start fishing. Thank you Jesus.
Except for an occasional tuna salad sandwich I don't like to eat fish.

Today is Thursday! That means it's blog hop day!  Yay!

Those of us that have blogs and are participating in Proverbs 31 Ministries OBS (Online Bible Study) choose one of the topics for the week and write about it. I've only been able to be a part of the first week's hop and I'm so happy to be doing it again.

Here's the fun topic I chose:
Lower Your Nets – Simon Peter had no idea that his obedience to something that seemed so small and insignificant could help him discover his calling in life, but it did! What little thing is God asking of you today?

Actually, I do have a few "nets" that the Lord has asked me to lower.

Lowering my nets = obeying what Jesus is telling me to do or not to do as the case may be.

Net number one -
time with God is first each morning.

No more jumping on Facebook first thing in the morning. Not even for a quick peek.
Yea right. Just a "quick peek". *smirk*
We all know how those two minutes of FB time is like thirty minutes real time.
It ends with me thinking: "Oh my! No time for Bible reading or prayer." And praying: "Sorry Jesus. I gotta go shower. We'll chat as I drive to work. oh-kay?"




Net number two -
limit the number of blogs I follow.
I recently subscribed to follow another blog. This one is focused on writing and being a writer. What harm could there be? However, as soon as I hit the subscribe-by-email button something felt wrong. Maybe even a bit stinky. I guess like eating a bad piece of fish? {I wouldn't really know since, again, I don't eat fish} This is a perfectly fine blog which I enjoyed visiting. Maybe I'd learn a few tricks so I won't struggle with my own writing here in blogland. Honestly, sometimes it feels like I've been trying for hours and not caught written a thing. Yet for some reason, I felt the Lord telling me to unsubscribe. Just a little thing? Yes, maybe. Only God knows for sure. All I know is that as soon as I hit the unsubscribe button my yukky feeling subsided.

Net number three -{I wonder how many nets Simon Peter had} one OBS at a time please.
The same day I subscribed to the writer dude's blog, I signed up to be a part of a mini-online Bible study. What?! Am I crazy? Again, I felt a nudge in my spirit that this was not what Jesus wanted me to be doing. And so I hit that unsubscribe button once again. It's for the best - I mean since you can only steer one boat at a time, I figured one OBS at a time is enough to navigate through as well. Plus, I'm learning some amazing things through this Bible study and want to stay focused on it. I wouldn't want to be distracted by some pretty little fish in the bloggy sea.

Net number four -
To be honest with you friend, this net I've not lowered yet. I'm holding onto it and keeping it right here in my boat. You see I just need to be sure before tossing it overboard. But I think Jesus& is asking me to give up the dream for my "Miss Maribel's Place" esty shop. Yep, I may end up letting that net sink down, never to be seen again. For now I'm asking for confirmation from the Lord.




So you can see I've been busy lowering my nets like Simon Peter. Like him, some of what I've done seems small and insignificant. Maybe even a bit silly.  I'm fine with that.

You see friend, I'm following the One who loves me like no other and living each day with true joy and anticipation for what He will do in my life.

There's no better way to live the life we're given!
 Love ya friend,

I'm A Yes Girl

Hey there friend!

Something exciting is going on in my life and I'll be sharing this journey with you over the next six weeks. Actually, since I consider this only the beginning of a true life change I'm sure I'll keep sharing even after the six weeks are over.

I'm becoming a "Yes Girl". 

Ummm... not sure what you think that may be, so I guess I better explain.

It's week number one of a new online Bible study (OBS) at Proverbs 31 Ministries.






The book we're reading is -





There are a few pages I've bookmarked and quite a few lines I've highlighted and made notes by. And that's just the first chapter.

Here's one of my favorites -
"God, I want to see You. God, I want to hear You. God, I want to know You. God, I want to follow hard after You. And even before I know what I will face today, I say yes to You."
 ~ Lysa Terkeurst   


I absolutely love that!
What a great way to start my day... focus on Jesus and say "Yes!" to Him and whatever my day may bring before even getting out of bed.

And guess what!
It was probably the third or fourth time reading it that I saw that one word - follow. Yep, that's my word.  As in my One Word for 2013.

Now that's pretty cool!


Tomorrow begins the weekly Yes Girl blog hop party. Woot Woot!




Hope you'll stop back by to hear more. God is so good!  I can't wait to share with you what He's teaching me and how He's changing me as I continue to say yes to Him.

btw - it's not too late to join the OBS with me.
Come on! Let's be Yes Girl sistas!!!

FOLLOW: Step Three ~ When You Hit A Slump

Hey there friend! I'm so glad you stopped by.

Happy beginning of summer to you!

Yep, here it is, the beginning of June.
So how is that whole One Word for the year thing going?

Well,  I confess that by the middle of April it seemed that I hit a slump in following my One Word for 2013.

And yes I admit it's a bit ironic since my word happens to be:

I was off to a great start the first few months of the year.

So what has happened?
Is there even another step to take in this One Word journey?

I'm not sure. But, I'll tell you this is exactly why I don't make New Year Resolutions. I've never kept one for more than a month or two.

And really? Do you know of anyone who keeps them for the whole year?!

No, me neither. 

As I sit here and think about it a bit more - because I like to figure stuff out {and besides it would be rather awkward to just end here}- I believe my problem comes from......
.... getting too busy with other things in life
.... not following through on Step One
.... not focusing on Step Two
.... maybe even getting somewhat complacent

You know all the normal stuff that are the various reasons why we never seem to be able to keep those resolutions for a whole year.

Since I titled this as my "Step Three" and have admitted that I've hit a slump I believe there actually is a next step. And this step is called grace.

Yep, I'm gonna extend a bit of grace to my performance-driven-perfectionist-self. I'm not going to get down on myself for not being as on track with my One Word journey as I had planned.

It's all ok. Sometimes I just get off track. Never meaning to. But life happens. I forget. Distractions come.

Hey friend can you relate to any of this?

I kinda am guessing that we can all think of some kind of commitment, something good and important to us at the time, that we started out to do, but hit a slump. Gave up. Got distracted.  Whatever.

You know what friend? I'm thinking that maybe a slump is a good thing after all.

A bloggy friend of mine once commented that sometimes we can get busy doing something good only to miss out on what's better.

You see a slump just gives us a chance to slow down and figure out if it's a good thing. Something we want to continue. Or maybe not so much and there are the better things to focus on.

Either way, once you realize you're in a slump or have gotten off track - give yourself some grace and figure out what's good and what is maybe even better.

Grace is a beautiful thing in life. And those slumps that happen along the way maybe aren't so bad either.

Love ya friend, 

He Tenderly Asks Us To Follow

Hey there friend!

Today I'm joining in the fun at Faith Barista. The topic of faith that Bonnie's serving up is a one word prompt and just happens to be my One Word for 2013. 

How cool is that!? 
  

Have you ever read something and the words seem to reach out and grab you?

Yea? Well, about two weeks ago, while I was on Facebook, a chat message popped up from someone that I rarely chat with. {I checked and it's literally been years.} So, this was totally out of the blue. 

I believe it was more than a random FB message. It was something God knew I needed to hear. 

The message was only a few Bible verses. Matthew 11:25-30 typed out and sent. Nothing else, just these verses. 


Here friend, let me share verses 27-30 with you - 

"Jesus resumed talking to the people, but now tenderly. 'The Father has given me all these things to do and say. This is a unique Father-Son operation, coming out of Father and Son intimacies and knowledge. No one knows the Son the way the Father does, nor the Father the way the Son does. But I'm not keeping it to myself; I'm ready to go over it line by line with anyone willing to listen. Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me - watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly.'"  The Message translation 

    
Right away what touched my heart and grabbed my attention was that Jesus spoke tenderly to the people.


As I read and reread these verses, He began to speak tenderly to my heart. 

I read that Jesus wants to teach me how to have an intimate relationship with Him - if I'm willing to listen. He'll patiently take it line by line. I guess that's good because sometimes it takes me awhile to catch on.

Reading a little further I was so excited to read that Jesus invites me to walk with Him, work with Him and watch Him. As I read, my finger pointed to the words - walk, work, watch. And I whispered to myself, "That's follow, follow, follow".

Hey friend! That's a whole lot of following He's inviting me (and you) to do. He desires that we follow and walk with Him.

There's a bonus to following, because He gives me grace for the journey. Actually, unforced rhythms of grace. One of the things I've learned since choosing my one word this year is that it's ok to have a lull in the action. The word follow is an action word. However, it's ok to stop and wait. It's ok to take a bit of a rest right where I'm at. You see - stopping, waiting, and resting are all part of the rhythms of any journey. 

Next, I read that He won't ask me to do anything that is too heavy or ill-fitting for me. Anything like that would surely bring me undue stress. So maybe when I feel all stressed it's something I bring on myself? Hmmm.... probably. I do try to do too much sometimes. Guess at those times I'm not following very well.

To sum it all up, Jesus says if I keep company with Him, as in follow Him, I'll learn to live freely and lightly. That's for me! I want to enjoy this life I've been given.


So friend, whatever your One Word is this year, whatever journey you're on at this season of your life, I hope you will listen as Jesus is tenderly asking you to follow Him, too. 


~ ~ Perhaps you'd like to visit some of the others that have shared their take on the word follow. Jump on over to Faith Barista by clicking on the link at the top of this post - Faith Barista. Or click on the badge below if you'd like to know more about Faith Barista's Thursday Jam linky parties. 



~ ~ ~

 AND

~ ~ I almost forgot! Tomorrow Melanie has her monthly One Word linky party over at her place. I'm gonna join in the party over at Only A Breath, too.

 








~ ~ ~ 

Praying your life is filled with grace, hope and joy as you follow Jesus.
Love ya friend!

FOLLOW : Step Two ~ What Defines You?

Hey there friend!

The first Sunday of the New Year we had a guest musician at our church. He played the saxophone in a jazzy/bluesy sort of way.

I  LOVED it!!

After playing the first song he made a point of telling us that his saxophone, his talent, his music did not define him. What defined him was who he was in Christ.

Wow! That spoke to me somewhere deep inside.

And it......
... wasn't really an "Amen brother"
.... nor was it an "Ouch"
.... it was more like an "Aha"

Even though I was saved as a teenager (that's a loooong time ago folks) and I've always tried to live my life to be a light for Jesus, that simple statement really spoke to my heart.

For so many years what defined me - as in gave me joy, purpose and fulfillment - was being T.J. and Kyle's mom. Those were the best years of my life!

That time is over and has been over for a number of years. T.J. is married to a wonderful gal and is a Youth Pastor. Thankfully TJ and his wonderful wife live less than an hour away.  Kyle lives in heaven with Jesus.


So that leaves me with ...????? 


I'm thinking that in order to follow I need to go back to the starting line.

At first I thought this One Word journey was gonna be all about finding what my new purpose is. To know  how to reach my goals and achieve my dreams. To know how to get that same feeling of fulfillment that I had as a mom to my two boys.

I see now, at least to begin, it's not going to be about that at all.


It's not a heavenly GPS. {Step One}


Nope. This journey is about so much more and it's so much deeper.

It's not about what gives me purpose. It's about Who. 

I became more sure of this a few days later as I  read my daily Bible devotional.
The main verse for this particular day was written by Paul to the Galatians. 

"I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." Galatians 2:20


That's it! Of course!


That's what should define me. That's where I need to start as I seek to follow and figure out this stage of my life.

First and foremost it's that Christ lives in me. My life is to be lived by faith in Jesus. He loved me and gave Himself for me.

So my friend, may I ask you - what defines you? Or better yet - Who?


 *Today I'm linking up with Melanie's One Word party over at Only A Breath. You may want to visit and if you have a blog link-up, too.

FOLLOW : Step One ~ My GPS

 Hey sweet friend! Welcome!
 
So, it seems like my One Word 2013 quest is taking me on a step-by-step journey. At least so far. It's only 20 days into this new year, and I've already learned the first two steps. 

I don't know whether to -
a. be excited that I'm learning so quickly
b. be worried that at this rate there will be 17.8 lessons to learn this year
   {at a rate of two for every 20 days}
c. both of the above

When I first felt that the Lord was leading me to choose follow as my word for this year, I pictured Him leading me by giving me answers to where I'm headed at this point in my life.

Kinda like my very own heavenly GPS.

You see I have all these questions about life as a fifty-something, empty-nester,  full-time working, married woman.

~ What is my purpose?
~ etsy shop? no esty shop?
~ Start going to women's Bible study? Do home Bible study? Start a Bible study at work?
~ Keep blogging? Stop blogging? Combine my blogs into one?
~ I love teaching the four year old class every Sunday... am I doing OK? should I teach a different age?
~ What will be my legacy? 

Oh so many questions and no idea which way to go.

"We humans keep brainstorming options and plans, but God's purpose prevails."
 Proverbs 19:21 (The Message)

Here is how this wonderful GPS would work:
I'm still holding onto my dream of one day opening my etsy shop.

So, I plug-in (prayer) my heavenly GPS, enter my directions (my ideas/options) and whaa-laa!!
Up pops the "map" to accomplishing that goal.

Step-by-step and turn-by-turn directions.
I'm given the amount of  time this will take. And maybe even an alternate route.
I can even calculate the gas mileage expenses.

And hey, since I prayed first than I must be "following" as I go on my merry way.
Oh silly me.

Yea, well that's not what this quest is gonna be about. I can tell you that right now.

The reality of my first lesson is:

I need to stop.

Stop thinking I'll find my way via ......
...... online devotionals
...... an Andy Stanley podcast
...... a Beth Moore CD
...... women's Bible study at church

All these things are great!
{LOVE listening to Andy and Beth}
However, that's not how I'll find my way.


And I need to start.

Start taking time every day to ......
...... read my Bible
...... read the book and do the companion Bible study the Lord led me to purchase
...... pray more

Ah that last one. Pray.
Not the "God bless my day" as I'm brushing my teeth prayer.

No. It's more like the sitting still (oh so very hard to do for any length of time)
with the door shut,
really talking to God,
and waiting for Him to answer.
Maybe even getting a bit radical and getting down on my knees, too. lol


And that's Step One.

So, as you can see I had my own idea about what my One Word quest was gonna be like.
But, there's no heavenly GPS. And that's truly OK.

And.............

Oh my gosh! As I was trying to figure out how to wrap this up I checked into Facebook.
Here is what I saw at the top of my FB page - a post by Proverbs 31 Ministries

Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, ''This is the way; walk in it" Isaiah 30:21


I mean how cool is that!?

I just love it when this kind of thing happens!{with God there aren't any coincidences} 

It's my Step One GPS thingy. *wink*

It's what I've been learning and Isaiah knew. When I take the time to pray and read my Bible I'll hear His voice speak to my heart and know which way I should go.


Hey friend - I can't wait to share Step Two with you!




I'm linking up with Melanie over at Only A Breath today as we all share our One Word updates.

My One Word for 2013

Hi Friend! Happy 2013!

Here we go - another year and another One Word to choose. Yay!

Guess I haven't been very faithful sharing about my One Word choices the last couple of years. Boo!

Actually, I regret that I haven't documented all  the One Word lessons and blessings that I've experienced concerning TRUST (2011) and PEACE (2012).

This year my plan is to blog once a month specifically about my One Word journey. Hopefully, each month I'll have more to share than just that to talk about. After all, I have been told I have the "gift of gab".



Sooooo ........


.......  my One Word choice for 2013 is .....



without drama or suspense ~

 Thanks to sweet Melanie, over at Only A Breath,  I have a super cute graphic. 



The reason I chose this word is because I plain don't know where I'm going.

What's next at this point in my life's story?
What's my purpose?
What do I need to do to fulfill all that God created me to be?

And guess what - I don't really have a plan.

Scary huh?

I mean me being the Official Family Planner {OFP} you'd think I should have at least a hint to where I'm going.

Yea, probably. But I really don't. 

So, this year I'm gonna - FOLLOW

I believe this is the perfect "next step". I can't imagine another word choice.

I want the Lord to lead me in His ways, along His path and according to His perfect will for my life.

^{So friend, my word is follow and my prayer is this ~}

Show me your ways, Lord,
    teach me your paths.
Guide me in your truth and teach me,
    for you are God my Savior,
    and my hope is in you all day long.
<sup>Psalm 25:4-5


 That's right friend, all day long -  24/7.   365 days for 2013. Whoopee!!!!!! 
 
BTW - I'm linking up</sup>

here with Melanie


AND

here with Bonnie

I am a follower and........

Hi friend!

Today I'm writing more for myself than to you. I need to document something. I felt the need to document that on August 21, 2012 I've made a decision.

I am no longer a fan. I am a follower.

You see friend, I've just finished reading the book "not a fan." by Kyle Idleman.

Wow! Life changer!

In the last chapter he writes: "Many fans say to Jesus, 'I will follow. Anything and everything I have, I give to you.' But Jesus points to what you're hiding behind your back and says, 'What about that?'"

OK! That was it! {a little Aha moment}

All through the book I've been trying to figure out if I'm a fan or a follower. And trying to figure out what the difference is.

Maybe I'm a little of both?

But no. Today I get it. You can't be both. Not even a little bit.

Today I've surrendered ALL. Again.

Yea, again.

I surrendered all to Jesus as a teen when I was saved. And there have been a few times when I've felt the need to recommit my life to Him.

But, today I'm not just surrendering.  
I'm choosing to follow.

I am a follower and ....
.... I'm not hiding anything behind my back. {At least that I'm aware of. I've asked Jesus to point it out to me if I am.}
.... I'm not crossing my fingers or giving a little *wink*.

So, I don't know what this will change in my life. Don't think I'm running off to be a missionary in China or India.

Although I have been thinking about going on a short missions trip with a church group. Hmmmm...... if He leads that way I'll follow.

Actually, it's exciting and freeing.

Will it be hard? probably at times
Will it be good? you betcha
Will it be worth it? absolutely

Hey friend, this might not make total sense. Like I said, I'm just documenting this for me. So, might I suggest you read the book for yourself?

Are you a fan or a follower? {you're not hiding anything behind your back now are you?

Plain and Ordinary

Hello friend! Thanks for stopping by  :)

Today I have a couple of questions for you -
~ do you ever feel like you are just plain and ordinary?
~ do you feel like your life is plain and ordinary?

I'll admit I feel this way sometimes. Actually, more times than I like to think about.

But, I want bigger. Bigger so I can make a difference with my life and in the lives of others.

I want to be a light for Jesus. Ultimately, I want my life, my whole life's story,  to bring God glory. I want it to point people to Him.

How in the world can I bring the God of all creation glory?! He is sovereign, my wonderful savior,  Lord of all creation.

I used to think in order to accomplish this I needed to do something BIG and Wow! and well, {trumpet sound please}GLORIOUS.

I want to share something I've learned with you friend. We can glorify God in the moment-to-moment of each and every day.

It has a lot to do with our choices. It's in the choice to bless and not curse, to love and not hate, to help and not ignore, to walk away and not join in the __________ . {you fill in the blank} It's really in those plain and ordinary things of each day that we can bring Him glory.

In a recent trip to WalMart I was clearly shown how true this is.
I was given two opportunities to help or walk away. To think of myself or think of someone else.

When I go grocery shopping I like to get in and get out of whatever store as quickly as possible. Just  not my favorite weekly activity. However, out of obvious necessity it's something I do each week.

This particular evening as I was backtracking to get something I missed in a previous isle a lady started to ask me where she could find..... before she finished asking, I said, "Sorry, I don't work here".   I hurried on and grabbed my item off the shelf. As I headed back to where I left hubby with our almost full shopping cart I caught sight of the same lady trying to find .... something, I didn't know what because I didn't stop long enough to even listen. But now I felt a little nudge inside me to help her. So,  I approached her and said,  "I don't work here, but I shop here a lot. What were you looking for?"  And I was able to point her in the right direction. (I hope it was - cooking spray would be found by the oils in the baking & cake mix isle?)

It was such a little thing, such an ordinary thing,  I almost missed it. 

By now we're almost done getting what we need. Yay! The final stretch through the frozen food isles! Gotta get hubby his Klondikes!

That's when an older gentleman with a thick accent, perhaps Italian, approaches me. He wants to know where the crowsints are. He was very hard to understand and I had no idea what a crowsint was. He finally used my pen and shopping list to write it down. Aha! Croissants!  I was a bit unsure I had ever seen frozen croissants, but we looked. Nope, no croissants. Than he mentioned something about eggs. So I led him to the breakfast food section and sure enough there was a box of  frozen croissant breakfast sandwiches. He wasn't happy about the price, but he was thankful we found them.

And you know what? I kinda got it this second time. It felt right and good.

This is it! This is how we can glorify Him in the every day ordinariness of our lives.


In her book, "Lord, I Want to Know You", Kay Arthur explains this so well:
".... you have been created for His glory, for His pleasure. Your life is to be lived in such a way as to reflect Him, to show the world the character of God - His love, His peace, His mercy, His gentleness. You are to live for Him, to accomplish His will. To miss this purpose is to miss fulfillment. It is to have existed rather than to have lived." {pg. 13}


We need to make the choices that pleases Him. If it's something that pleases Him it brings Him pleasure.

We need to show others the character and love of God.  If it's something that shows others the love of Jesus than it glorifies Him.

That day it wasn't Wow! or BIG and I certainly didn't hear any trumpets. Yet, I know it pleased Him and that brought Him glory.

Just a plain old day, doing my ordinary weekly grocery shopping.
And along the way being a light for Jesus.

Stopping Long Enough

This past week I enjoyed being on vacation for a few days. It actually was a "stay-cation" since we just stayed home and relaxed. A few weeks ago I mentioned to hubby that we needed to plan our vacation. I mean that's what the "official family planner" does, right?  Hubby thought it'd be kind of silly to plan anything since we weren't going away.  Ok, so whatever, I'll plan on my own. Being the planner is sometimes a lonely job.

Of course, you guessed it, I started with a  list.....
~ spend time in blog land
~ organize my coupon folder
~ maybe out to eat just once
~ go over to my parents and use their pool
~ maybe rent a movie
~ perhaps play some mini-golf
~ do a little yard work

About a week before my time off was to start I felt that I needed to add something to my vacation list. This was confirmed the Friday before I started my vacation as I read a post by Bonnie who writes over at FaithBarista .  These two sentences in particular really spoke to my heart: "If we were to stop long enough to really want Him, He would be the prize we’d dump everything for. Just to savor His touch and His words”

Something in my spirit cried out "Yes!"  How I would love to love spending time with Jesus.  As much as I enjoy being busy, Bonnie's post that day helped me realize I needed to “stop long enough”.  I just knew that - spending time with Jesus - needed to be on the very top of my list. I’m talking quality time – not the usual quick “good morning Lord, please be with me today” while I brush my teeth time.

And I kinda hate to admit it,  but I made another list. A little mental list of what me and Jesus needed to talk about. And if you too are a "list maker" I know you'll understand.  If you aren't, well, don't judge. Just love me and pray for me. :)   Anyways, my list basically consisted of a few things I needed to have some direction on.

As I prayed , read and simply spent time with Jesus an awesome, but not surprising, thing happened.  I didn't get to go over much of anything on my list. I didn't get specific answers to any of my questions. No direction to do this or go there. No insight whether I should try this or stop that.  As great as getting answers and direction concerning my little list would have been, I got something so much better.

He again became the one I wanted to spend time with each day.  I stopped long enough to pour out my heart to Him. I stopped long enough to feel His love for me. During  those times this week I recommitted all that I had to Him. And let me tell you that it wasn't easy (I promise to explain a little more in detail real soon). But once I did, it was freeing and brought me to tears. Tears of surrender which turned to tears of joy, peace and love.

So friend,  here is what I discovered - when we "stop long enough", when we desire a relationship with Jesus than the answers don't matter so much. He becomes our answer. Feeling His love becomes our comfort. Knowing He is with us no matter what becomes our peace.

And hey friend, I'd like to encourage you to stop long enough each day. You may or may not get what you're seeking, but you will get what you need.

BTW~ Don't forget to take a minute and stop over at FaithBarista. Bonnie is a great host and I just know you'll really enjoy your visit.

Lead, Guide or Walk Beside?

Lately I've been spending quite a bit of time giving my blog a facelift. I've learned a lot, enjoyed being creative and have had a blast personalizing it. One thing I've added at the bottom of the page is a cute little button with sunflowers. It says "Lead me, Guide me, Walk beside me".

I really like that saying. I so want to walk out my life in a good way. I rely on the Lord to show me that way. It is a comfort to know I can go to Him for help and guidance. However, as I've considered my blog button a little more - I'm thinking I only really like the first two parts of that saying. The last part I'm not so sure about.

The reason is, when I need to make a decision, especially a life changing one, I want a "yes" or "no" answer from the Lord. I want an open or closed door. I'm cool with either one - just let me know what I am to do. I guess that way of thinking is pretty much part of my personality. Perhaps, those of us who see life in black & white, right & wrong are just more likely to feel this way. As I have thought about my cute little sunflower button, I realized that it's this part of my personality that doesn't like that last part.

The "lead me" part is easy. Go ahead Lord show me what to do, lead the way and I'll follow the best I can.

The "guide me" part is simple. Just guide me.... a little nudge this way, a detour that way and I'll go down the right path.

At first "walk beside me" sounds so comforting. What a better friend to have walking beside me as I travel through life. Right? Well, yes, of course. But, I want more - I want guidance. Give me answers.

As I consider all of this, I'm beginning to wonder - could the "guide me" part actually be the best part? When hubby and I take a walk - we walk side by side. No one leads. Neither guides the other. We just enjoy the time together. It gives us some much needed exercise. While we walk we talk - about problems, decisions and our dreams. It is one way we stay connected.

Well now, I think I'm going to change my mind on this one. I see that as the Lord walks beside me we have sweet fellowship. That is the time I share my dreams, hopes, worries and ask for guidance. When I don't get those yes & no answers I must exercise my faith. Not a bad thing. Best of all - as we walk along we stay connected.

So, friend, what part of my cute little sunflower button do you like the best? I'd love to know - Lead, Guide or Walk Beside?

Running ahead

When my boys were little they sometimes would run ahead of me when we were out shopping at the mall. They knew we were going in a certain direction and would just take off. They never hid or got lost. I think they were just excited because they knew the fun we'd have. The mall ment time in the arcade playing games, lunch in the food court, and a snack from the Cookie Factory before we'd go home. Usually somewhere along the line we'd stop in the toy store. Kyle would choose a Hot Wheels car (back when they were only $1.00) and TJ a pack of baseball cards.

When they'd run off they may have known what direction we'd be headed in, but not necessarily the destination. They wouldn't always know which store we'd be going to next. Or when it was time to stop for lunch. Or just what was the plan and what was on my list. I'd let them go so far and than call them back to me. Sometimes they'd run back to me, other times they'd stop and wait for me to catch up to them. Then we'd start off again in the right direction together. As a result, we have some wonderful memories of the fun times we shared at the mall.

The past ten days have been pretty rough for me. I've been tired, crabby, slightly depressed and missing my Kyle a bit more than usual which makes me sad. I think I have finally figured out why...... I am running ahead of the Lord. Just like a little kid who thinks they know which way they're headed I just took off. In my journey to finding hope & joy again in life I thought I knew which way to go. So off I ran. Knowing it will be fun and wonderful and exciting. And wait.... I really don't know the plan, or list or destination. Yikes! What am I doing running off like this?!

So, I have stopped. I need to go back to the way I know the Lord was showing me to take. This is a rebuilding time in my life. Rebuilding of my faith and relationship with the Lord. Rebuilding of my focus on my husband and family. Rebuilding of how I live my life. Rebuilding my convictions. As I start out again on this journey I'll listen better to what the Lord says are His plans for me. I'll try to follow what's on His list of things for me to accomplish. I want to journey with Him, knowing that is when I will find true hope and joy.

"Blogland" here I come.....

Welcome to my blog! I don't know if that statement surprises you, but it sure does me. I never thought I would enter "blogland". At least not as a blogger. I do enjoy reading other people's blogs. I have found them interesting, funny and even inspiring. However, I have tried journaling now and then over the years, but have never kept one going for long. And since blogging is online journaling I figured it wouldn't be much fun and a lot of effort.

After my best friend, Vera, read something I wrote for my homebased business she suggested that I try my hand at writing. "You wrote that? It was really good" she said. I guess I didn't look very convinced that it was anything special and probably looked a bit surprised. "At least pray about it?" she asked. I replied that I would and just so I didn't lie to my best friend I said a quick prayer.

A lot of my prayers over the next few weeks concerning life in general were me reminding the Lord how busy I am. How can I get some balance between family, work, church, my new business and have some time for me? How do I prioritize when everything seems like a priority? As far as this whole writing thing - well, I would share with Him my list. And I do love lists! Have you ever done that? You know, a list you give the Lord of the "whys" and "why nots". Well, my list consisted of things like - how I never was good at writing, what would I write about that would be of any interest, and how busy I already am. I admitted it would be neat to have a blog, but no, not me. I could not ever be as funny, or encouraging, or interesting as some of the other bloggers out there.

I love how the Lord just sits back and listens until I am all out of reasons. It's like I ask Him something and than tell Him all the reasons it cant' possibly work. He waits patiently until it's His turn. He lets me get it all out. Then He starts to work in me. He did answer me, but not right away and not all at once. Little by little over the next few months He let me know that I could do this. I so love how He leads - gently, patiently and lovingly.

So, ready or not "blogland" here I come. And I hope you will feel free to come by every now and than and see where He is leading me.