Friday, April 29, 2011

Two Weeks Ago

Two weeks ago today.... daddy had been home from rehab for two weeks.
For two whole weeks mom got to have him home by her.
At times it was so very hard and tiring. But, she did it.
He was happy to be home by mom.
Even though he was in pain and had other health issues.

Two weeks ago tomorrow.... daddy went "home" to heaven.
For two whole weeks we've missed him.
It's been so hard and tiring. But, we've done the things we needed to do.
We know he is happy to be "home" by Jesus.
Now, there's no more pain. He can walk straight and see clearly.

Two whole weeks -
It feels like I've lived a month in the last two weeks.
Yet, in some ways it feels like half the time. 
So weird how that happens.

I guess for awhile I'll be measuring time by how long it's been since daddy went home.
Since he went home to heaven and is ok now and happy.
As he would say: he's "okie dokie".

Sunday, April 17, 2011

4/17/11 {a look back at 4/16/11}

Hey friend..... this is not my usual type of post. But, I can't sleep and am thinking. I'm sitting here sorting out my memories and feelings from yesterday. Somehow, to write it out just seems like a good idea.  I usually try to write for you friend, but this time it's for me.  Hope you don't mind.

Today is Sunday.
Today is the day after my daddy died.

Right now I can't sleep.
Right now is 25 hours since we rushed over to mommy & daddy's house at 5:30 AM.

How many times did I scream "NO!" "NO, NOT MY DADDY" while getting dressed.
How many times did I think "I can't believe this".

Phone calls I made:  to my brother, to my boss, to my friends.
Phone calls mom made: to her pastor, to daddy's sister, to friends.

Lists of things to do.
Lists of things to remember.
Lists of more people to call on Monday.

Remembering, missing him, disbelief.
Tears, laughter, silence, planning.
Regrets, thankfulness, hope.
No concept of time.
Hard to focus.

And through it all He held us, comforted us, gave us His peace.
And through it all others prayed, spoke words of love, gave hugs.

This is so very hard. However ......
.... we can do hard.
.... we will be OK.
.... we will see daddy again one day!

Monday, April 11, 2011

Wheelie While You Wait

On my way to work one recent Friday,  I saw a boy, about nine years old, waiting at the bus stop. As I got closer he started down the sidewalk on a pair of those shoes that have wheels in the heels - wheelie shoes. He had dropped his backpack to not be encumbered or slowed down I'm sure. Away he went running a few steps and than up on only the heels of his wheelies and he was flying down the sidewalk.

As I passed by I noticed he was smiling, pumping his arms in the air and enjoying life as he sailed down the sidewalk. In my rear view mirror I saw him turn around and head back to where he had left his backpack.

I really felt like there was a little thought here that the Lord wanted to speak to my heart about.  A little illustration with a meaning. Kinda like a parable. I thought I'd go ahead and share it with you friend.

The illustration:
That boy was enjoying the wait. He really was! That big smile and the freedom he showed sailing down the sidewalk were evidence that he was not worrying about if the bus would come. Not dreading the 20 word weekly spelling test that's usually given on Fridays. He was, for that moment, just plain enjoying life.

The problem:
Right now my daddy is in the hospital. We don't have a definitive diagnosis. The next few days are a bit uncertain. We'll be waiting for the doctor's "ok" to have him  transported to rehab. And most probably after that, after "testing" ( PT & OT) there's a good chance he will not be going home by mom.

The lesson:
Enjoy the wait!  Drop those cares right there. Enjoy a few  moments with freedom and joy!  Smile, pump your arms, and than head back to the spot where you left those things of life that need to be taken care of.

The plan:
Well, yea, I am the OFP (Official Family Planner) so you had to expect I'd have a plan. {This one is inspired by the Lord using a young boy and shoes with wheels in their heels.}

For me, to "wheelie while I wait" will  look something like -
~ first thing I'm gonna do is drop my cares at the feet of Jesus to not be encumbered.
~ I'm gonna enjoy each moment I have with my daddy. Whether he is aware I'm there or not.
~ share my concerns with hubby. He always knows what to say to encourage & comfort me.
~ have a few extra mocha lattes (my version of fist pumping).

So, how about you friend?
Do you have something in your life that you are encumbered by? Something weighing you down?

Just take a little running start, pump your arms in the air and enjoy life. Even if it's for just a minute - go ahead and try it.

I guess the meaning of this little "parable" is: while you're waiting for things to change, for answers or for help to come..... enjoy the moments you are given and "wheelie while you wait".

BTW ~ This post was actually written about a month ago. After nine days in the hospital and a couple of weeks in rehab my dad is back home.