Sunday, April 17, 2011

4/17/11 {a look back at 4/16/11}

Hey friend..... this is not my usual type of post. But, I can't sleep and am thinking. I'm sitting here sorting out my memories and feelings from yesterday. Somehow, to write it out just seems like a good idea.  I usually try to write for you friend, but this time it's for me.  Hope you don't mind.

Today is Sunday.
Today is the day after my daddy died.

Right now I can't sleep.
Right now is 25 hours since we rushed over to mommy & daddy's house at 5:30 AM.

How many times did I scream "NO!" "NO, NOT MY DADDY" while getting dressed.
How many times did I think "I can't believe this".

Phone calls I made:  to my brother, to my boss, to my friends.
Phone calls mom made: to her pastor, to daddy's sister, to friends.

Lists of things to do.
Lists of things to remember.
Lists of more people to call on Monday.

Remembering, missing him, disbelief.
Tears, laughter, silence, planning.
Regrets, thankfulness, hope.
No concept of time.
Hard to focus.

And through it all He held us, comforted us, gave us His peace.
And through it all others prayed, spoke words of love, gave hugs.

This is so very hard. However ......
.... we can do hard.
.... we will be OK.
.... we will see daddy again one day!

1 comment:

  1. Wonderful thoughts at such a hard time. Writing through your hurt is a way of finding relief. You were a loved daughter and that is a blessing in itself. You have done hard before, and you are correct, you will do it again because the Lord is your strength.
    Love you!


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