Friday, June 17, 2011

This Father's Day

This Father's Day is gonna be different.

It's the first time in 54 years that my daddy is not here for me to wish a "Happy Father's Day" to.

No card to buy that tells him what a great dad he is.
No phone call to tell him I love him.
No visit.
No hug.

Nope not this year. And never again will it be the same as it always has been.

This year will be different.

There will be flowers to bring to his grave site.
There will be an empty place in my heart.
There will be tears.

I'll miss my daddy a little more than I do every other day since he went home to heaven.

And I ask myself a question that I've been asking a lot lately, "Where is the Hope & Joy in all of this?"

I feel a wee bit guilty about feeling this way.
I mean I realize I have the "hope" of seeing him again one day when I move on to my heavenly home. And of course, I have the "joy" knowing that he is healthy and pain free.

But friends, right here and right now, during the last two months that's all been very nice, but almost not enough. Maybe it should be. And maybe it's just the fact that missing my daddy stirs up those "missing my Kyle" feelings. It's just really hard missing two people so very much.

So, this Father's Day I will honor my daddy's memory -  with flowers, tears and "I love you" whispered in my heart. 

And this Father's Day I will also honor my heavenly Father. Even in the hard stuff I will continue to trust, believe and love Him with all my heart.  I'll whisper a prayer of thankfulness for giving me such a wonderful daddy.

Hey friend I just wanted you to know -
I'm adding this post to Bonnie's Faith Jam over at Faith Barista. Why don't you take a minute and swing by.



  1. I have been thinking about you, Deb! And your Mom too. What a beautiful way to honor your father and your Heavenly Father. I will pray for God to give you some smiles through your tears.
    Love you cuz!!

  2. This is simply lovely. It speaks what my heart feels. Celebrating my grandfather, my 2nd dad. He's with our Heavenly father!

    Your words lift me up.

  3. Hi Debbie -- thank you for the gift of sharing a love and wound so fresh -- of saying goodbye to your daddy. I thought of Jesus and how we wept for Lazarus - even though He knew God would raise him the next moment. Loss and grief are real. No guilt, only sorrow for that separation. Father God, thank you for Debbie's story of a father's love. Comfort her and hold her this weekend.

  4. The Lord understands when we cry, when we miss those who mean so much to us. Sometimes we don't have to be brave or keep a stiff upper lip. I think the tears and the sadness help us long for our real home.
    Love you Deb,


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