I was thinking..... since I named my blog "Finding Hope & Joy" does that mean that I had lost my hope & joy? That is an odd thought for me, because I am usually happy and have a smile to share. I generally look for the positive, and if that can't be found, than the humorous in any given situation.
And the answer I came up with is..... yes, about 24 months ago I guess I did lose my hope and joy. I lost it to grief. On November 20, 2007 at about 2:00 in the afternoon my 25 year old son died suddenly and violently. I am so thankful that I got to be Kyle Matthew's mom for 25 years, six months and one day. He was a wonderful son and dearly loved. Perhaps, in future posts I will share with you more about his struggles and life.
I am sure I will share some about my journey with grief. I guess it is a journey. It sure isn't a choice. Not a partnership. It is something I am working through, navigating around and finding my way past. Finding my way back to hope and joy. So, yes, the word "journey" best describes it.
Now, getting back to my original thinking..... I did lose my hope and joy. The good news is that I am again finding hope and joy. There is healing in the journey. Next time I'll share a little more about "how" I chose the name for my blog. For now the question is answered of "why" and I'm on my way. I'm looking forward to the end of the journey when I'll see my Jesus face to face and get a hug from my dear son, Kyle. Miss those "Kyle hugs"!!